ORDINARY LIFE: Search results for easy as falling off a cliff

I wrote the article below in June 1979 while working for a weekly newspaper in Rogue River, OR, and was also learning to row whitewater. PK was a kayaker and we were on the front end of decades of river running. Even then, I obviously had all the river-running types correctly pegged. (Read on rafters, drift boaters, and so on.)

I ran across this old clipping recently and marveled at how prophetic! I had no idea that years later our own son would become a chief officer in the international club of crazy kayakers.

The 1979 newspaper piece:

There are five or so classifications of local boaters.

Drift boaters get up before dawn, love rainy days, eat kipper snacks, and can fish for 48 uninterrupted hours.

Muscle boaters have oiled bodies with fabulous tans. They wear stretch knit bathing suits Their crafts sparkle with chrome and their 600-HP motors pull water skiers at breakneck speed. They drink beer from cans and always have a barbecue to attend.

Rafters laugh at the river. They wear pillow-sized life jackets and smile beneath sunburned noses. They like to sit around the campfire at night drinking Jack Daniels and swapping tales about who almost got pitched over the side.

The orange torpedo captains carry books rating rapids on a scale of one to 20. They wear sneakers full of holes and their legs are tan in front and white in back. They are moderately nuts.

Kayakers are the real crazies. While other boaters enjoy sitting around a friendly campfire roasting marshmallows, kayakers are at the edge of the circle chewing raw meat or in the woods digging for roots and grubs.

In the morning while others are snug in warm sleeping bags, kayakers run naked, scaling dangerous cliffs and challenging local wildlife to feats of strength.

The kayaker in the photos is typical of the breed. He is Rick Schlumpberger of Rogue River Outfitters, plunging off a cliff on the Illinois River in his kayak. Before this unretouched photo was taken, Schlumpberger had eaten a 17-pound raw steelhead and had taken a five-mile upstream swim. MK

If anybody knows Rick S., please pass this along. I think he'd get a kick out of it. Maybe he's still chewing raw meat outside of campfire circles?

Chris, "falling off a cliff" on Toketee Falls on the North Umpqua River
just a couple hours from home. 2011.

A little family river history

PK built himself a fiberglass kayak in 1977 while I was pregnant with our first child. Quinn. Fiberglass construction and pregnant women do not mix owing to noxious glue fumes, which in this case, slammed through the kitchen window as kayak fabrication was being conducted beneath it.

But fiberglass was the only way to go kayaking in the 70s, which PK was hellbent on doing.

Hmm. Wonder where our son Chris got the kayaking bug?

The important thing was that if I didn't want to stay home while PK was on the river, I needed to row. (I was not tempted to kayak.) When our baby boy, Quinn, was about two I learned to navigate whitewater and thus became captain of what was known as the daycare raft. Chris was born when Quinn was nine, prolonging my daycare raft duties.

No complaints. I loved sharing the outdoors and the river with our boys (and their friends). Both went on innumerable day-trips with PK and me on the Rogue, as well as dozens of 3-day family trips on the Rogue's Wild and Scenic section. Those were some of our best days ever.

They grew to love it, although Quinn took a bit longer and was in his late 20s before he was declared "boatman of the year" when he rowed the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon on a 28-day private trip during which his father rowed, Chris kayaked, and I hiked to the bottom of the canyon to camp with the group for a couple days.

Chris is a now professional kayaker. As I write this, he's just back from a recent expedition to Papua New Guinea, and he and his father are on a day trip on the home river. Makes me smile.

Passing it on. Quinn Korbulic giving his son Noah his first rowing lesson on the Rogue.

PK rowing the Salmon River with me in front. He missed that bus-sized hole.

Chris, then 15, earned the right to row his first rapid, a class 4 on the Snake River, by winning a bet with PK, who's having a white-knuckle ride. The bet: if PK throws a rock into the air, and Chris hits the rock with another before the first rock hits the ground, Chris takes the oars. We wouldn't let Chris kayak this river, which he wanted to do, because he would have been the only one in a kayak. Instead, he took on a big rapid with the raft.

Kayaker Chris at 15.

In case you're wondering, where are the photos of me rowing? Well, I have a few in printed form but have yet to digitize. My favorite is of going through Blossom Bar on the Rogue (Class 4) with friend Linda Shonk holding onto Chris, who was then about five or six. One of these days......

I wasn't expecting much from our mid-May float trip on the John Day River in North Central Oregon.

A couple decades ago, PK and Chris (when he was between 8 and 11) floated the river a few springs with two other dads and their young sons. I heard stories about fishing, sleeping on tiny prickly, rocky beaches with rattlesnakes, and running one significant rapid.

No thank you.

Not once did my husband or my son mention the John Day River's fantastic scenery and fascinating geology. I'm glad I saw it. I came away with a camera load of eye candy and warm feelings induced by longtime friendships forged, in part, by shared river trips through the decades.

Sue Orris nearing the top of an overlook behind one of our John Day River camps.

The John Day cuts through 281 miles of Central Oregon's high desert before converging with the Columbia River. One hundred and forty-seven miles of the John Day are designated Wild and Scenic, including the 72-mile stretch we navigated. It is the longest undammed river in Oregon, and one of the longest undammed rivers in the USA. On the map, our put-in at Clarno is just off the bottom (sorry) and the take-out is at the Cottonwood Bridge. In between is a serpentine river whose curves and canyons have been formed over millions of years. On the scenic scale, I give it a 7+ with the Grand Canyon being 10.

I all but gave up river trips about 14 years ago. (Links to river-related blogs follow.)

However, running rivers remains WAY high on PK's must-do-whenever-possible list. I've I agreed to one trip a year with him. This year, I'll do two. The John Day trip was the first.

The trip reminded me of what I like about river running, and what I don't.

What I really like is great scenery, and crazy geologic features such as this.

And this jumble of folds, creases, and layering.

Next time, we must have a geologist along to interpret. Google led me to the fact that the John Day basin is part of the massive Colombia River Flood Basalts, one of the largest of such formations on the planet.

The outrageous rock formations and land forms just kept coming.

What's good about river trips

Camping in sublime surroundings with a few good people.
Being untethered from technology - five days and the only screen time witnessed was me using my iPhone to take photos.
Experiencing total quiet, except for river and wildlife sounds. (Occasional 💤 noises coming from certain tents)
Starry skies without light pollution
If the trip is longer than a few days, getting into nature's rhythm: up at dawn, to bed when darkness descends.
Seeing wildlife up close, even bears and snakes. (Not rattlers, though)
Beautiful natural surroundings - of course

In addition to osprey, we saw bald and golden eagles, ducks and geese, California big horn sheep, scarabs, thousands of swallows and boatloads of small mouth bass.

Being self and group reliant
Traveling with my life partner, who is happier on the river than anywhere else, except perhaps with his grandchildren.
Photographing everything. It helps me see and appreciate.

Clarno Rapid is the only significant rapid on this section of the river. We scouted on the left and also ran it on the left. At this water level, it was probably Class 3.5 on a scale of 6. It is reportedly not runnable at low water. The boating season ends sometime in June once snows in the Strawberry Mountains, where the river's water originates, dry up, and agricultural operations continue to draw irrigation water. The water quality when we ran the river in May was already compromised by agricultural run-off.

Cattle (pic below) are a major pollution source. These guys were miffed because we took their spot our first night out. It was evident that they favored this campsite as cow pies of various ripeness were all over the place. PK and I pitched our tent not too far from a fresh pile, which we marked with a shovel, and also a red ant hill, over which we placed sticks so as not to step on it.

What's irksome about river trips

Getting ready - requires planning, packing and prep sometimes out of proportion to trip enjoyment.
Setting up our 30-year-old old Moss tent. The damn thing never wears out!
Lugging heavy containers up steep river banks, then down again to the raft
Sitting for hours at a time, even with great scenery (Even in the Grand Canyon!)
But the worst thing? Using the loo.

The loo is always situated in a private spot with a scenic view.

The lid opens to a plastic bag, supported by a mesh bag, with a scoop of chemical beads that somehow renders the contents acceptable for tossing into waste receptacles.

Once closed, the plastic bag, called a Wag Bag, joins previous days' bags in a plastic bucket with a secure lid. Then somebody gets to carry it on his or her boat. Lucky us!

Overall, this toilet system is good. Common sense and wilderness etiquette dictate that human waste — all waste— be carried out. No trace left behind, even it it comes from behind. Ha ha.

But here's the thing. Liquids are are no-no in the loo. Instead, river trippers pee in the surrounding area, the river, or into a can. Only solids are directed into the Wag Bag.

I find separating elimination functions problematic, as may other women past a certain age. Enough said!

Overall, this river trip leaned heavily into the pleasure category, despite the few disconcerting moments at the loo or fleeting boredom floating for hours at a time.

Just the dog and I were up early enough to admire the sunrise at this, our first camp of the river trip. Three nights to go. I loved this camp. Loved them all, really.

The John Day River experience reminded me that a majority of people who read my blog (thank you!) haven't experienced self-guided wilderness river trips. Here's what it's like.

First somebody gets a river permit, or a wild hair, and sets in motion the mandatory planning and preparation, which I do not enjoy.

In our group of eight, Beth and Jeffrey had the wild hair and they instigated and led the trip. Permits are required, but anybody can get one. (On the John Day River, at least. Other river-permit applications are lotteries that disappoint the majority.)

Once a permit is secured, meals, transportation, shuttles, toilets, trash disposal, composting, water, clothing, etc. etc. must be organized, which requires people with better-than-average organizational skills.

I admire well organized people.

I'm not one, but I'm married to one, and at least four in our group could be in that category.

Beth is top dog. She has her shit together, always. On this trip, she used a 20+-year-old guidebook, plus experience with two previous trips on the John Day, to help us locate camps, petroglyphs, and keep track of historic events that had transpired along this stretch of river. Although a current guide lists 92 camps (!), few are obvious.

Beth may be addressing the wind on this blustery day.
She is unable to organize wind and weather.

Beth rows as Jeff, a fishing aficionado, tempts small mouth bass with lurid flies. He was not disappointed. The catch-and-release victims did not like the surprise, I'm guessing.

But back to the beginning.

Somebody gets the river trip urge. We plan. We pack. We drive close to 300 miles (on this trip) to the river. We look at all our stuff piled on the boat ramp. We balk.

Rafters are not minimalists. The packing-light conversation happens but does not result in restraint. Gotta have options. Right? We got em.

The put-in for our 72-mile trip on mostly flat water began at Clarno, where a bridge crosses the river and easy access is provided by the BLM, which manages the area. According to the BLM website, one other party was putting on the river this day, but we never saw them. We had the ramp and river to ourselves

A fraction of our gear stacked up at the Clarno put-in.

What do we need for our river trip?

Everything! Including a toilet, water treatment (and/or clean water in containers from home), tents and sleeping bags, pads, food for five days, shelter in case of rain. We also bring a kitchen including stoves, Dutch ovens, charcoal, and every person's coffee-brewing device.

On a long-ago river trip, someone even brought a gasoline-powered blender to make margaritas. At least we got over that.

But I may be the worst offender since I packed clothes I never wore, food we never ate, and
a recently purchased solar panel to charge devices I never used.

Finally we're on the river, which meanders through agricultural flat land for several miles before squeezing into scenic canyons. In mid-May the river was still flush with snowmelt from the Strawberry Mountains, where it originates. We had strong currents, gentle wind, moderate temperatures and ideal spring conditions. By the end of June, I understand, snowmelt stops, and irrigation draws down the river until li's suitable only for canoes or kayaks. Agricultural runoff was evident even with spring flows.

Downstream vista under a cotton tufts sky.

What goes out of the raft must be repacked and reloaded, which requires
a couple hours each day, altogether.

Sue and Ferron brought their dog, which fulfilled our needs for canine charm. The dog was easy to pack. I like that about well-behaved dogs. He also scarfed up leftovers.

Curry, rescued from the Curry County Animal Shelter, worries about his people. He doesn't want to be apart from either one, hence he traipses back and forth, benefitting from their patience and skillful rowing. A reluctant swimmer, he fell in only once.

The kitchen set up includes two three-burner stoves and three tables.The tarp was erected because we'd had heavy but brief rain earlier in the day.

PK spent hours every day performing catch and release operations on small mouth bass.
Sometimes I rowed while he fished.

I loved that Beth figured out where some hard-to-find petroglyphs
were located and led us to them, despite our doubts.

Who were the people who survived this harsh land without
portable toilets,inflatable mattresses, and more food than they could eat?
More resourceful than we are, no doubt. But it's unlikely any of them
lived as long as our group of mostly sixty-somethings.

Lichen decorates petroglyphs.

Margaret has been rowing for at least 30 years. Greg isn't interested, but he goes along for the ride. Near the end of the trip here, I bet he's thinking about baseball.

We saw scarab beetles in most camps.

Sheep in the John Day River wilderness are primarily California Big Horn sheep, which are smaller than Rocky Mountain Big Horn sheep. We saw a lot of them, including one that picked its way down an impossibly steep cliff to reach the river as we watched from our camp.