Note: I excavated this post from my draft archive— one of 163 drafts waiting to be finished —as I searched for references to attitude. Why? I participate in a quarterly discussion group, and attitude is the topic for our fast-approaching get-together. The draft is about three years old, and the primary difference between then and now is I know even more women with attitude advantage.
Next, I'll tackle the drafts I've started about recent Baja travels. Thanks for staying tuned!
------------------
I'm lucky to have positive, physically and mentally active, smart, deep-thinking women as friends. Most are age 60+  |
Laurie Gerloff and I resting after a 5-mile uphill hike through cacti and cairns near Tucson, AZ, a few springs ago. I was almost 70. Laurie in her early 60s.
|
Readers who subscribe to this blog by email may be avoiding FB, and I don't blame them, but they miss the revealing conversations that sometimes develop in comment threads. I enjoyed reading hair-dye and aging stories amidst numerous comments about the ditch-the-hair-dye post.
I was the only person, however, to see the excerpted comment below, delivered to me via email by Laurie, my friend for 40-some years, and a frequent travel buddy. She and her husband, Steve, and PK and me, have explored together extensively, including several trips to New Orleans, Mexico, and in early 2016, the Galapagos Islands and the Ecuadorian Amazon.
 |
| This airplane would soon be flying the four of us out of the Amazon Basin on the same runway. For more about this "old people's" adventure, See Wild in the Amazon |
Laurie changed the subject from fiddling with hair and face, boobs and butts, and other attempts to preserve a youthful appearance to instead concentrate on what's in your brain and heart. What comes out of your mouth.
Guard against calcification and becoming old and set in your ways. She writes:
I’ve spent much of today thinking about aging and my own march to wormhood. I think that the most youthful attribute for geezers like us is not a head of blond hair, but a young attitude. And I think that we, and many of our pals, have it in spades.
Flexible, open-minded, adventuresome are adjectives Laurie uses to describe concepts for ideal aging. These are powerful adjectives for any stage of life, along with thoughtfulness, kindness, compassion, and incessant curiosity.As a youngster, I used to think of old folks as cranky, curmudgeonly and stuck in their ways. It seems that many oldsters calcify — they resist change, don’t take risks, and allow their minds to close and their comfort zones to shrink. I struggle to fend against calcification.
Accepting aging is more than just going along with the physical deterioration without nipping, tucking, hair-dyeing or suiciding. It's about resisting cultural pressures to hang onto youth when we could be embracing the fact that elders have insights, wisdom, and historical understanding impossible for people decades younger. Oh the things we've seen!
We also have a continuing capacity to relish life and face challenges with strength and resolve because we've learned how.
We also have a continuing capacity to relish life and face challenges with strength and resolve because we've learned how.
It's OK to get older. Way better than not getting older. At least that's what I think now at age 74.
I love this poem by Janyne Relaford Brown.
I Am Becoming the Woman I've Wanted
“I am becoming the woman I’ve wanted, grey at the temples, soft body, delighted, cracked up by life, with a laugh that’s known bitter but, past it, got better, knows she’s a survivor – that whatever comes, she can outlast it. I am becoming a deep weathered basket.
” I am becoming the woman I’ve longed for, the motherly lover with arms strong and tender, the growing up daughter who blushes surprises. I am becoming full moons and sunrises.
“I find her becoming, this woman I’ve wanted, who knows she’ll encompass, who knows she’s sufficient, knows where she is going and travels with passion. Who remembers she’s precious but knows she’s not scarce – who knows she is plenty, plenty to share.”
When, at the age of about 55, I spent much of my time around a group of about 50 people aged 75 to 95 as part of my job, I discovered how much I enjoyed being around that age group. They had nothing to prove, had stopped trying so hard (most of them) to look younger than their years or be terribly clever. There was a peacefulness and acceptance inherent in their days. The women were stunningly beautiful to me though not, perhaps, in the way our culture seeks beauty. It's such a shame that the elderly become invisible to anyone under the age of 50. Young people are missing out on a very special gift of life's stages if they don't have elders in their lives. We are so much younger in every way than the majority of people from our parents' generation and it's mostly to do with attitude I think.
ReplyDeleteGrace, Yes, the elderly are largely invisible., except those who are, unfortunately, running the US government. Elderly women are especially out of sight, out of mind, even when they are in plain sight. We should take advantages and make mischief!
DeleteFrom your OS(0cto Sister): My recent Valentine's Day activity fits right in with this blog post. We went to a Swing Dance Party at a Roseville Lutheran Church which has a bigger area for dancing than any of the local clubs that advertise dance floors. When we arrived a few minutes late, the party was literally in full "swing." My not-quite-yet-octo friend Lonni and I hastened to the dance floor and stepped right in. Our fellow dancers comprised a mixture of every age group from teensters to oldsters. Our spouses (Dayton, bad knees and Dave, bad attitude) sat in a nearby pew and watched the fun on the floor. Dress code appeared to be lots of twirly skirts for the younger, really skilled women and whatever sited your fancy for everyone else. I determined it the ideal setting to wear my recently acquired, wildly colorful tie-dye dress. What happened next I attribute totally to the dress. During a pause while the band readied for its next number, a young(er) man walked up to me and said, I'd like to dance with you." I was literally struck dumb. My first thought was that he must mean Lonni since she's a much better dancer than I am, but no, he was looking straight at me. The music started,he reached for my hand, and we were off. As soon as I recovered some semblance of normality, I said to him, "When you decided to come to this dance,did you ever expect to be dancing with an old woman?" He laughed and said no. After a bit, he said, "How old ARE you?" "82," I answered. He laughed again and said, "Same age as my mothers." So I asked "how old are YOU?" "55" was the answer. "Same age as my son," I replied. More laughter from both, then he said, "Well, I guess we have something in common then." When the music stopped, he thanked me, I thanked him, and walked over to recover in a pew. Goes to show you're never too old for a new experience in life. This one being the first time I'd ever been asked to dance by a complete stranger.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're never too old to wear a tie-dye dress! It's a man magnet! Thanks for the wonderful story. : )
Delete